Sasquatch!

Just back from Sasquatch Festival. WOW!!! I’d never been to one, and my hunnie and I camped (yeah — my first time “camping” since my terrible experiences in scouting). Four days of music, kicking off with Foo Fighters on Friday night, and Wilco, Death Cab, Modest Mouse, and a hundred bands I’d never heard of.

Yeah, after three nights of camping (actually, sleeping in the back of his Dad’s jeep) my love affair (and my love for music) was taxed to the max. Did I mention a little rain, too? Yeah…. anyway, it was great. I wanna do it again!!!!

sooooo….why silent?

Two reasons, really…. first, my therapist at FIRST thought it was healthy for me to blog about this stuff, but later started asking me (in nicer words) if I hadn’t just become an attention whore. Hmmm…. I dunno. Maybe….

But mainly, while a LOT has been happening, actually nothing big has happened. I haven’t discovered any magical truths about myself. I haven’t found true love. What I HAVE done is started to slowly get more girl-like in my appearance, (thank you, modern pharmaceuticals), graduate from high school, start college (yes, they’re very cool with my transition) dated a couple of guys who were cool with my transformation, but nothing serious emerged, and basically lived my life. Again, nothing special.

So maybe I’ll try to start blogging again. And maybe not. I dunno.

Yes….it’s been 9 months

It’s been a w-a-a-a-a-y long time. Why am I picking this back up? I dunno… Maybe I kinda miss the on-line community I was part of. Maybe I’m just trying to get over winter in the pacific northwest.

I sorta QUIT blogging because I was getting a little tired of being “Christy the transgendered girl” and wanted to just wake up every morning as “Christy the girl.” it actually gets kinda easy to forget about the little plumbing problem if I don’t center my whole life around thinking about it.

Anyway, over a year and a month on hormones now. It’s turing out pretty good. My friends and school are basically accepting me for who I am… still some boyfriend problems (I’ve been thru a couple — long story, but I’m dealing with it) and now just hanging out with a “bunch” of friends rather than one special one.

More later. Hope I’m welcomed back.

Ok, ok, ok, ok…..

I’m back. I never really went anywhere, but I sorta got into this THING about DOING and not really writing stuff down. My therapist thinks it’s a cool idea for me to WRITE ABOUT FRIGGIN STUFF I DO, so I will.

Just to help you catch up, I’m transitioning full-time now, and w–king this summer in my Dad’s law office. He’s REALLY cool with the whole transition thingie…. It’s a very small office (just four of us, and one is on leave) and everyone here is very nice and VERY helpful. Actually, even though Dad is REALLY liberal and tries to be understanding and accepting, the girls here are frankly more accepting than him. I catch him every now and then absent-mindedly calling me by my old boi name.

More later.

a wonderful day for running

It’s sunny and not-so-cold outside. I just came back from my run. I gotta be careful how I let the guy at Starbucks flirt with me! I’m serious! He’s coming on to me big-time, and I’m letting him cuz it’s terrific for my ego, but I can’t let this turn into something…..

I met with my school’s Lesbian-Gay club yesterday. One of the girls invited me to come talk with them about my transition. (I was surprised it came from one of the girls but they seem to run the club.) I’m not really “open” about my transition at school — it’s a very badly kept secret. I don’t get any grief at school about it, cuz we’re pretty tolerant. But, the principal has asked that I not be over-the-top about it. One big question is if/how I’m going to go to the formal this year…. sigh…

ANYWAY…. the L-G club was w-a-a-a-a-a-y more accepting that I thought they would be. They’re pretty militant, and I’m pretty stealth in my own way. They’re not usually very tolerant of stealth gays on campus — it’s wierd, if you ARE gay, they want you out and proud. However, I’m kinda in that world in between worlds, neither gay nor straight. They were very cool about that, and understood where I was coming from. I explained my whole story, and about the hormones and where I was going from here. They were kinda upset that the principal isn’t letting me be more open on campus, and they said they’d talk to the administration (they’ve got a LOT of pull — gays are very powerful in this area). We’ll see! I’m one of them now, for what it’s worth. Hope my therapist can handle that!

Random details on Spring Break

We flew out on Sat the 4th for Ft. Lauderdale. Mom LOVES this place, but its more old-folks friendly than I really liked. We stayed in this waterfront hotel where Mom & Dad stayed on their honeymoon (yeah, wierd now that their divorced) then rented a car and drove up to Orlando on Tuesday. We dropped off the car and stayed 5 nights in the Disneyworld resort, basically spending every day in the theme park or laying out by the pool.

For me the most wonderful thing was spending the entire time totally “out” as a girl, rather than dressing androgenously for school then changing clothes when I come home. The bathing suits I bought were padded in all the right places, and fit wonderfully. I’ve got a great bikini line tan now!!!!

More later, but that’s about it for now.

Spring Break!

I can’t believe I haven’t posted in a month. Sorry…. darn…

I also can’t believe I’m sitting in a friggin hotel room while it’s sunny outside! But, literally, there’s only so much sun you can take! We’re in Ft. Lauderdale, at the neatest little hotel. Apparently, Mom & Dad used to stay here before the big “D” and Mom still has great memories. It’s 70-ish outside.

I FINALLY found a couple of bathing suits that work for me — one’s a fairly conservative two-piece-er that has lots of padding in all the right places, and the other is a little tank-ini. All of my agony was useless, really. I’m actually passing pretty well, with the help of some padding.

I’ll be SOOOOOO friggin tanned when I get back!

and….nearly a week again!

Therapist last night — she’s mainly concerned with how I’m emotionally reacting to hormone therapy. Since I’ve been off-and-on some kind of drug therapy since I was 12 (ritalin, anti-depressants, etc.), I’m almost not sure what an unmedicated “me” would be like. I was off med’s continuously from last fall until I started hormones a few weeks ago, but it was also a period when I had finally come to grips with my sexuality and gender issues, and was pretty naturally “high” from those issues.

Frankly, I can’t remember a time when I’ve been continuously this….. pleasant. I run every morning now. I hardly cry at all. Jason and I are in a nice “thing” but if it disappeared off the face of the earth, I could handle it. Oh well…. Emotionally, I’m in pretty good shape, I think.

Anyway, I’m physically only BEGINNING to see/feel some effects of the hormones. My boobs are starting to get slighly sensitive — just in the past couple of days. The endocrinologist says given my body shape/size, my genetics (large boobs on Mom & Cath) and my starting hormonal situation, that’s where I’ll prolly see the first effects. I’m also told by some other girls who have gone this route that once that effect starts, I’ll see some dramatic shift. My prob is going to school — how do I cushon/comfort new boobage (particularly sensitive boobage!) and at the same time adhere to my principal’s request that my in-school transition not be too “over the top”? I guess we’ll have to have another meeting…. with me wearing a bra this time.

LOL….. also, I’m starting to shop for summer swimwear. If the boobage continues to grow, I guess boy-beach wear is out, right? ROFLMAO

has it been that long?

Wow… a week since the last post (or nearly a week, anyway).

Winter won’t go away here.  It actually dusted snow on our house this morning.  It’s semi-sunny outside now, but wow

Becca and I are going up to Alderwood shopping later tonite.  She swears she’s going to make me buy more jewelry…. you know…. flashy, trashy stuff.  I tell her I don’t have anyplace to wear any of that stuff.  She says to FIND places to wear it!

N-E-way…. I’m outta here.

SNOW!!!!

Snow this morning!!!  School’s a bit delayed, but really doesn’t affect me that much, cuz I only go in for a couple of classes around the middle of the day…. but the weather-person says this is prolly the last low-land snow of the winter for us (although the ski slopes will continue to be nice for a few more weeks).  That means I can start shifting my wardrobe from “girlish-but-a-boy-could-wear-it” to “skirts and tops”.  LOL….

 Which brings me to…. Ann Taylor Loft…. am I being too “old” for my age?  I really like their styles.  Mom and Cathy and Becca say I need to focus on younger styles, but I really like what I see there (thats where Mom shops a lot, so I get to see stuff there a lot.)

 Which brings me to…. shoes…. winter shoes are easy — boots and sneakers pretty much all the time.  Heels and wedgies if I’m going out somewhere really dress-up, but that happens maybe once every couple of weeks or more.  So… now I need to start thinking about cute flats.  There are so friggin many choices! (don’t get me wrong – I love choices!).  A lot of girls flats are simply variations on boys flats (moccasins, dock shoes, etc.)  I really need some other girl flats, though…. you can spend the cost of a new car pretty quickly at Nordstrom’s if you’re not careful.

 Well…. back later.